The Agency
Crisis strips us of the feeling that we have any agency over our lives. This week, we practice the radical act of choosing — small choices, conscious choices — as a way of reclaiming power from the inside out.
We cannot control what breaks. We cannot always control what we feel. But we can practice, in tiny increments, the act of choosing. Creative power — and spiritual power — does not come from controlling outcomes. It comes from participating in life rather than merely enduring it.
I have more agency than I currently believe. I am choosing, right now, to take one small step.
This week in your Morning Pages, pay attention to the moments you write 'I can't' or 'I don't have a choice.' Circle them. You don't have to argue with them — just notice them.
Choose your Soul Date this week around something that feels even slightly adventurous — not dangerous, but outside your usual. A different part of town, a class you've never taken, a museum exhibit on something you know nothing about.
Work through these at your own pace across the week. Use the journal space to write your responses — they are saved to your account.
Describe, in detail, your bedroom as a child. What was in it? What did it smell like? What was your favorite corner? What was the view from the window? What did you do alone in that room? Now: what was your favorite thing about being that child? List five traits you liked in your younger self.
What happened to those traits? Did the crisis take them, or were they already fading? Which ones are still alive in you, even quietly?
List five people who genuinely nurture you — meaning they reflect back your competence and possibility, not just your wounds. (There's a difference between being helped and being treated as helpless.) Now list any patterns in your life that feel like they're "helping" but are actually keeping you small.
Who and what in your life reinforces your sense of agency? Who or what quietly undermines it?
This week, take at least one hour to do something that uses your hands or body — walking, cooking, cleaning, gardening, driving — and let your inner compass speak. Afterward, write down any insights, images, or impulses that arose. Not structured meditation. Just doing something physical and listening.
The intuitive self often speaks when the analyzing mind is busy. What did you hear?
List five people you openly admire. Now list five people you secretly admire — including dead people. What qualities do they embody that you long for in yourself? Name three specific steps you could take to cultivate those qualities.
We admire what we recognize. The traits you admire most are closest to your own unrealized potential.
Complete this at the end of the week.
How many mornings did you write your Morning Pages? Did you notice any "I can't" moments?
What was your Soul Date? Did you try anything even slightly new?
Where did you feel most powerless this week? Where did you find even a flicker of agency?
What trait from your younger self showed up this week, even briefly?
When you feel ready to move forward, mark this week complete.
Week Complete